End of the holiday break. As the weather has been off it’s easy to feel disconnected to what you would typically expect on any given Sunday. I need to spend the early part of this year focusing on catching up to all the things it has been too easy to ignore. Burying my head has allowed many items that had they been handled as they arose, while challenging and time consuming, they would have been manageable. Now I find myself confronted with an overwhelming sense that no matter how hard I try, with the normal course of life, I will never catch up. The weather is a perfect excuse to just continue to avoid reality. “It’s too nice to do this, I need to spend time with Nate, take advantage of the weather to help him build his confidence”…. it’s less about him and more about my own avoidance.
Better to continue to put off what can be put off again tomorrow than to confront it head on, now. It’s too big to complete in a single sitting and several alone can consume an entire afternoon. It would be good to start with a small task, right now. Complete it, count it as a win and look to what I will do tomorrow. But that witling down is a hard concept to implement. The immediate sense of pride is quickly replaced by a feeling failure when in your eyes nothing has really been accomplished.
Today, I took a shot. I knocked off a two small things that at face value didn’t really accomplish much. It would almost feel like failure but it was something and it did keep me to my word.
I did find time for myself to get out and go for a ride on some January dirt. And while the thought of fighting a crowded parking lot and hill I took Nate skiing with family friends. I put forth the effort, it wasn’t as bad as I had created in my head, and we had a great time. The convincing yourself to try is sometimes the hardest part.