I’ve felt buried the last few days. It’s like life is constantly piling up and the worst thing is trying to get through it. I’m trying to face my neglected responsibilities as well wrap up so many of the open items around the house. There are times I really hate the weekends.

I realize that we need to accept small incremental steps to success, be it completing tasks or changing behavior in ourselves that is counterproductive. But at the same time, not going big and swinging for the fences is in direct conflict to the way my generation of men was raised. And isn’t it better to step back and look with pride upon a large project? And what about when you attempt even the small tasks and for reasons outside your control they can’t be finished?

You spent the time all day trying to get through three small jobs. But for whatever reason you didn’t finish a single task. You go to bed demoralized and wake the next day completely angry with yourself. There went an entire day, you can’t see progress towards a goal on three fronts since there was nothing removed from your in-basket…. it was all for naught. And now what happens, yesterday’s attempt gets relegated to the dust bin and we move on rather than face more uncompleted work. So I woke, angry as hell, at just what I don’t really know. OK, me.

I fought through that anger and faced my unfinished challenge of the day before. This was less a result of outside influences but of my own head, ability & reality vs expectations. It was not coming out the way I had in my mind and I was angry. Better to put it off than to face the hard truth that this is the best it was going to be. Well it’s faced, I’m disappointed but accepting, with but at least not frustrated.

A huge step for me actually, “No, that is as good as I could get it.” as opposed to,” Yeah, I still need to get that worked out.”… Small steps.